Why Italy? Debunking Myths and Embracing Realities

When people find out I’m moving to Italy, they usually nod like I just told them I won the lottery.

“Ah, la dolce vita!” they sigh.

“Endless pasta, gorgeous people, wine at lunch… what’s not to love?”

I smile politely. I’ve heard it all. The fantasies. The clichés. The Instagram-filtered version of life in Italy that paints the country as some kind of eternal vacation. The fact that every movie makes Italy look like an AI-generated idyllic paradise where women swoon and men have hairy chests and make love all night doesn't help.

Let me be clear: I love Italy. But I’m not going there for the dream. I’m going for the reality. And if you’re thinking of making the leap yourself—especially as an expat planning your retirement or your next chapter abroad—then it’s time we got real about what Italy is and what it isn’t.

This isn’t a post about how cappuccinos after 11am are frowned upon or how Italians don’t put chicken in their pasta (yes, we know). It’s not about tourist etiquette or how to avoid being scammed by a taxi in Rome. Those are beginner-level myths.

This is about the deeper stuff. The expectations that can quietly unravel your expat dream if you’re not prepared for them.

It's hard not to know your neighbors when they know the type (and color) of underwear you have.

Myth #1: “You’ll live like a king on a shoestring budget.”

Reality: You can live well in Italy—but it requires strategy, not fantasy.

Let’s kill this one right away. Is Italy cheaper than the U.S.? In many places, yes. But no, you will not rent a Tuscan villa with sweeping vineyards for the price of your former HOA fee.

Housing costs vary wildly. A one-bedroom in Milan can cost more than a three-bedroom in Puglia. Groceries are affordable, yes—but the bureaucracy involved in setting up your utilities, bank account, or getting your driver’s license can cost you in time, patience, and gray hairs.

You can live richly in Italy—but it’s the kind of richness measured in experience, not extravagance.

Myth #2: “Italy is all sunshine and slow living.”

Reality: It’s chaotic, beautiful, broken, and full of soul.

Yes, you’ll have slow Sundays in the piazza. You’ll watch nonnas gossip in the shade, you’ll sip espresso at a bar where the staff knows your order by Day 3.

But you’ll also stand in line at the anagrafe (town registry office) for hours. You’ll wonder why no one responds to your email. You’ll try to pay a bill online and end up needing a digital ID, a paper stamp, and possibly a minor miracle.

Italy is not a polished lifestyle product. It’s a living, breathing culture—and cultures come with contradictions. The trains don’t always run on time. But your neighbor might drop off a bag of lemons just because.

Myth #3: “Italians are all warm, open, and eager to befriend foreigners.”

Reality: They’re kind, but community takes time.

It’s easy to mistake Italian hospitality for instant friendship. Don’t.

They will greet you warmly, help you if you’re lost, feed you generously. But becoming part of the inner circle? That’s a long game. Italians tend to have tight-knit social groups formed early in life—and breaking into them as a foreigner can be slow and humbling.

The good news? When it does happen, it’s the real deal. You’re not just a guest. You’re family.

Myth #4: “You’ll adapt easily because you love Italian food and wine.”

Reality: Culture shock has nothing to do with your palate.

Let me guess—you love carbonara, you’ve taken a wine-tasting class, you once binge-watched Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy and cried.

Great. But cultural integration goes way beyond what’s on your plate. It’s in how people talk over each other (a lot), how rules are sometimes more like “suggestions,” how work-life balance means really shutting off work, not just saying you do.

The food is amazing. But it won’t comfort you when you’re confused about your tax residency status or when your Amazon package disappears into the abyss of Poste Italiane.

Myth #5: “You’ll finally belong somewhere.”

Reality: Italy doesn’t need you to belong. You need to earn your place.

This one stings a little. Especially for expats leaving the U.S. because they’re disillusioned, burnt out, or fed up with a country that no longer feels like home.

But Italy isn’t waiting with open arms and a welcome basket. It’s not begging for you to settle down and make yourself at home. It is what it is: proud, ancient, complicated, and deeply rooted in its own identity.

If you come with humility, curiosity, and a willingness to learn instead of impose—you’ll find your rhythm. It won’t be easy, but it will be deeply satisfying.

Why Italy, then?

Because despite all that—despite the bureaucracy, the learning curve, the reality checks—it’s worth it.

Because the sound of church bells echoing through a medieval town never gets old. (ok...this one may get old when you're sleeping off last night's festa).

Because your 80-year-old neighbor will give you better life advice than any YouTube guru.

Because walking to the market for fresh tomatoes, chatting with the vendor, and then making dinner from scratch feels like a small act of rebellion against everything you hated about your old life.

Because “enough” feels different here. It is different.

So no, I’m not moving to Italy to chase a dream. I’m moving to build a life. One with frayed edges, full of contradictions—and better than anything I could’ve ever imagined.

Coming next Monday:

“What No One Tells You About Italian Bureaucracy (and How to Actually Get Sht Done)”*

Want to learn more and start your journey on the right foot? Call me.

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